And, the Lord speaks...

The Lord has been speaking today to me. I suppose He's been speaking to me every day, but I've been a zombie the last 7-10 days, so I haven't been focusing much on anything...just going through the days and the motions.

Anyway, first of all I walked past the mailroom this morning on the way upstairs and Wayne (the mailroom guy) had his radio on...it was playing Blessed Assurance. For the background regarding that song...see my other blog www.explorerofworlds.blogspot.com

Jamee, blessed soul, called me and gave me Deuteronomy 1:6..."The Lord our God said to us, 'You have stayed long enough at this mountain. Break camp and advance...'"

And, she said to me, "You're going to come to a meadow one day and turn around and see everything in a kinder light."

Sigh...just what I needed to hear.

Then, I heard from the Lord through my dear friend Sue by way of several phone calls and a beautiful card today. On the outside it said, "He set my feet upon a rock making my footsteps firm: Psalm 40:2. On the inside it said, "The water may be swirling, the waves may be crashing, but you are standing on the solid rock of God's love...and that puts you on the highest possible ground." Thank you Susan. xo

I need this scripture so much this week...God's voice. Please be God's voice for me this week Girlfriends. I need to hear from you/Him.

C

Last Week

Well, as I sit here Monday evening thinking about the next four days, I wonder how I'll handle it. Last week I was a mess...cried just about every day. I hope I don't do that this week. It's really hitting me hard right now. Can't believe after 22 years the Army has laid me off. Can't believe really that no one has called to see if I would be interested in doing something else within the organization. For once, I'd sure like to be wanted...to be sought after. Wouldn't we all, right?

I'm so feeling sorry for myself! :+) Well, I deserve it for just a second or two then I know I need to move on.

It's just a real kick in the butt.

Sigh...

LUKE 10:10-11

Our Boss (GS) came by to see me today. Stan and I had asked if we could edit with the equipment in June. Because we didn't get the equipment we're kind of screwed because we have a two weeks edit with one client and a shoot/edit with another in June. There's no way to get new equipment ordered by then. Boss came by today to say the Finance Board declined our request although the Boss said yes it was fine with him. Poor guy. He has a great deal of compassion for us and yet he keeps getting turned down by higher ups. So, I've got to contact our two clients and see if we can postpone or make another arrangement. Very stressful.

Stan is home in bed with pneumonia. He finally went to the doc yesterday and the doc sent him home. The stress of eveything is coming out this way for him. Me, I've been weeping every day since Sunday. BTW, Stan's mother had emergency surgery today with a ruptured spleen. Please pray for the Gilbert family...they are under attack.

The Boss also said he wanted me to know that the Colonel wrote a letter to our territorial headquarters in Atlanta (Mister Business Secretary and Mr new TC) that was very strong saying how disappointed he was with the treatment THQ was giving Stan and I and how upset he was that they were over-riding DHQ's handling of OMM's affairs. I appreciated hearing that. The Boss also said that he and Colonel and the Finance Board all feel grateful to Stan and I for our positive and honest attitudes throughout this ordeal. He said he and Colonel respect our integrity and feel we have been forthright and honest. He said he was talking to someone at THQ yesterday and they said something derogatory about us, and the Boss said he stopped that person mid-sentence and said, "Wait a minute. You will not say that about Stan and Cindy, because they have displayed the utmost integrity and conducted themselves with honesty throughout this event. The closing of OMM has nothing to do with them. Nothing. " Mr GS said, " Cindy I want you to know that kind of talk will not happen on my watch!" I got real teary eyed at that..knowing people are saying unkind things and lies about us hurts more than OMM closing. It just makes me sick. All my years of service and I leave with people saying derogatory things about me?! What the hell is that about?! I feel it so unnecessary. Why do we have to go through that, too? Yet, I wonder if God wants us to shake off our sandals and leave this "city" behind. It pains me to think He may want us to leave the Army behind...at least certain areas of the Army.

But, it did make me feel good that someone at least is sticking up for us.

Sigh...note time. I can't sleep...

SIGH.....

I cleaned out my office on Saturday. David went with me so I was able to keep my emotions in check. It took a lot longer than I expected, but we got it done. I was so grateful that he was there. Then yesterday in church I could hardly stay awake during the sermon. I felt exhausted although I felt like I slept good...guess not. I snapped out of my droopy eyes just when Pastor Mark was saying, "This is not your fight. This is God's fight. Go home and look up II Chronicles 20." Oh boy, another confirmation for me. I don't feel like I'm taking on "the fight", but I sure am exhausted all of a sudden. Since last week. I've slipped into a slump! Then today I was weepy all day, although coming into my office that is now totally bare didn't help. I'm just so sad. Jamee suggested (with great force) she thinks that God is telling me to take some time off in June before going full force into "the business." I think she's right, although I've got a two week edit starting June 12. But between the 2nd to the 12th are 10 days so perhaps I will take some time. I would like to do that on a beach somewhere....sigh....

My Great Romance

Hello Ladies,

It's after midnight in the Donovan household and that means free time for me. Tonight was date night for Michael and I; we go out (alone) a couple of nights every month.

We spent the evening discussing Michael's favorite topic these days The Insanity of George W. Bush. YAE! I guess he must have sensed my frustration with the subject, so with righteous indignation he said, "I'm allowed my political convictions." And as the dutiful wife I nodded and listened…NOT! Once our food arrived I prayed that the Lord would bless our food and that someday my husband's convictions would be more about the Holy Spirit than politics (he appreciated the humor).

However, on the drive home it was I who was convicted by the Holy Spirit. The Holy Spirit encouraged me to share with Michael My Great Romance. The words I so freely shared with you all during our retreat I poured out all over my husband; with all the passion I could muster in the dark cab of the truck I told him my deepest desire; how I look forward with much anticipation to the day that our mutual love for God would be a our biggest passion, Our Greatest Romance.

I then asked him if he understood how much peace, love and hope I find in know God. He nodded, but I don’t believe he’s really thought about it before, I know he’s thinking about it tonight.

We talked about how he should be enjoying his walk with the Lord. I asked him to just let God be God, father, friend... just let Him in. Michael open up about his difficulties in accepting God's love and shared some things about his father that keeps him from embracing God's amazing grace.

I was left with this new certainty that Michael wants to understand God and His amazing love. So much was said and understood in that short drive home; we now have a point of reference for a continued dialogue. Maybe this is the beginning of a new romance, Michael and the Father.

Keep us in your prayers. It's late. I'll keep you posted.

God Bless

I have no idea what I'm doing

I will send this in to cyperspace with no idea if anyone will be able to read it. Very unnerving (does that have two n's?) It's sort of like praying - sending the desires of your heart into God's silence and hope that He hears. Well, He's certainly more dependable than a blog site, but it's kind of a neat analogy.

Now I have to figure out how to read all of your stuff.

OMM EQUIPMENT

Well, we lost all the equipment. Headquarters in Atlanta refused our proposal even though the Texas Division approved it. I cried yesterday...not because I felt all was lost, but it just made me so sad that a few people in such a great organization can be so hurtful. It broke my heart. But, God is taking care of us. What a rollar coaster ride of emotions. Trust in God is steadfast, but boy are we on a wild ride. We're waiting a few days to let our emotions settle and then will regroup and formulate a new equipment plan. We feel strongly that we're in the midst of some fierce spiritual warfare. It is not our fight and we remain steadfast and wait upon the Lord.
Cindy

Two G3 Hot Babes

Latest from Tina

Tina emailed me on the Monday after the Summit with the following message. She said I could share this with you guys.

"I had the BEST day yesterday!! As you know I rushed off to Victor's (son) soccer game. After that, my family got together for my nieces 18th b'day [Rick's daughter]. We ate at Rick's fav place and had the best time. We laughed and acted silly and it felt good to be together. We even had the best waitress who acted silly and laughed with us! THEN...we went to Jack's (sister) house and played vball in her back yard. The kids were all playing and we acted really silly, there too. [Her neighbors probaby think we were smoking something!] THEN...Bobby Alonzo called (friend), was coming through and we met him for a late dinner [at my fav place]. We sat out on the patio and talked and I told him about the weekend, who was there, etc. Then he came back to the house and we watched your DVD. Cindy, this was sooo good. Bobby is searching and wants to make things better for his family and this really spoke to him. I didn't get him back to his truck until 12:30 AM. It was a loong day, but a GREAT day"

What a great report from Tina! Sounds like her family had a wonderful day together...a real healing kind of day. Perfect! Thanks for sharing Tina.

The Woman and the Pots

There's been a hitch in the new OMM getting the equipment from The Salvation Army for our business. The headquarters in Atlanta is becoming involved. We'll know more after next Tuesday. But, as I looked over my notes from our weekend, I came across notes from our study on the story of the widow in II Kings 4. I wrote in my Journal: "This woman's expectation level of God's ability to provide determined the quality of her lifestyle to come." God has been so gracious in these past five weeks. The evidence has been overwhelming. I have the evidence and yet I falter. God WILL provide and bless OMM Productions, LLC! Cindy

First Annual G3 Summit, May 2006

Exodus 3:5